some last year photos... and recent thoughts...

i love dorks. well, not entirely dorks. but dorks who are hotties. imma dork. but not a hottie. hehehe. why do i love dorks. uhm, makes me feel secure i guess. since i got lots of insecurities bout myself. i guess blogging makes me deal with my insecurities in a very exhibitionist way. hahahaha! oh well. i love staring into the camera. making my eyes look bigger. lol. the photo below makes my nose look big. i like my nose. lol. its not perfect. but i think its cute. lol.

my lips look like i smoke. but i never do. well when i was younger, i remember, my dad would always make me light his cigarette. then he died of lung cancer. so since then, i never did like to smoke. i dont really hate smokers. i just see them as lazy people. ionno why. sigh. im so judgemental. im bad.

i like this photo. but i guess the lights on the face wasnt perfect. still i like it. im hungry now. these photos were taken last year.

everytime i get hold of a camera. i take about 50 shots of myself. then id always make compulsary stupid/dorky head shots. i like behaving like a dork. im one. but im tryna not to be one. i need to grow up. sigh. *kiss* *kiss* my friends tell me im sucha flirt. im not. right? *winkz* =P

i wanna gain weight. been sick lately. havent been able to eat well. and exercise. i wanna give myself more time. im not growing any younger now. sigh. i need someone to take my breath away. lock me in his arms. and make me feel like im being loved. even if it aint true. i just like the feeling of being loved. its... uhm.. fun. =P